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Regret has been an evolving concept for me as I age. Although Eric, the 25 year old, would have you believe I’m closer to 40 than, say 30 (and I’m only 29!), this comic sums it up perfectly for me.

I found this on the Rumpus, but its true citation is: All Over Coffee is published in the Sunday Datebook section of the San Francisco Chronicle, on, and in two book collections by City Lights Press. The second and newest book, Everything is its own reward, was just released this spring.

I have been busy. But, I am catching up. I found these two gems while waiting for Eric and Nate to pick me up at work before we head down to Portland. Note, the time is 6:10 and they are late.

I’ve been trying to ask my subconscious what my spirit animal is right now. I try to ask it (my subconscious) before I fall asleep at night. I have had limited success. I think there was a horse? There has definitely been a large presence of the ocean. Last night I dreamt that I was on this motorized boogie board with my coworker, a senior planner, and she was the one driving. We were going pretty fast, weaving between barges, boats and runnning over snorklers. I know, WTF? Anyways, fast forward to her filing my nails back on shore, and giving me a hard time for always being 5 minutes late.
I’m not sure what to take from this, except I really have to change my hours so I can come in later.

So the boy I was seeing and I just broke up. It was pretty mutual, which was surprising because I had spent pretty much the entire time we were together gushing about him to friends, family and who ever would listen. He was set to fulfill everything I was looking for in a partner. He is creative (and as Lindsay had point, made a gingerbread house from scratch, just like us), silly, expressed an interest in future travels to Iceland, and just seemed like a good, safe and smart choice. I spent all day yesterday being sad. Then I cried on the phone to my sister. And now? I’m bummed, but OK. It was just over. All of a sudden he wasn’t the future partner any more. It turns out he had just got out of a three year relationship and is probably leaving the country sooner than later. I was already thinking about awkward future situations in our relationship where I met someone I found more interesting, attractive and a better match.

I’ll admit, I’m still listening to the Pandora station that’s playing Destiny Child’s Independent Women and Mary J. Blige’s Family Affair. OH MY GOD. Now Pandora is playing Mariah Carey’s Always Be My Baby. WTF. This is my life. I don’t even know what this means. On Tuesday I had this in my head. I NEVER have songs stuck in my head.

It also doesn’t help that I was listening to RadioLab which in this episode relates the story from Aristophanes about the longing many of us feel for another half to make us whole. So I’m looking for my other half, but really just someone that I can count on, and sent texts to like, I JUST FOUND OUT MY BOSS’S MIDDLE NAME IS RAGING BUFFALO! AND HE’S NOT EVEN NATIVE AMERICAN! I am now thinking about getting a tattoo of a tyranasaurous rex that says “dinosaurs don’t need boyfriends” which is born from yet another disappointing experience in dating. Not really. I think I’m just still in that unhinged state.

On the plus side, I’m going to North Bend and Snoqualmie on Sunday with friends, which is where Twin Peaks was filmed.

The Pony Play post that was not particularly nice or flattering of anyone (especially as a reflection of my own judgemental-ness) has a response.

Hi. =) Thank you for responding. If you wish to post the information below on your blog feel free, I don’t really know much about wordpress, I happened to find your blog post using a Google search when trying to find if anyone had posted pics of our group in the parade. If you have any other questions for me, personally or about PonyPlay or Animal Roleplay in general, please feel free to ask away!

I believe I am the ponygirl of which you spoke of on your blog. I was the one in the Seattle Pride Parade on June 26, in an all black hood-less zenti suit, with a patent leather harness, pulling a 3 wheeled cart with a fringed top. I don’t have very much of my own gear yet as it can be expensive, so the harness w/bridle, and the cart were both borrowed. I know I’m not in very good shape, and didn’t put on as good of a performance as the others, but I was determined, and having fun. =)

The couple that I was with, the lady driving me, and her significant other (I’m not sure what term they use) I had only met that day. They were going to join our group for support, but my boyfriend got called into work at the last minute, and couldn’t make it to drive me himself, so she stepped in to drive me. I’d like to let you know that though it was hot out, the suit I was in is actually very breathable, and the couple of helpers we had keep spraying us with mist to keep us cool. I’m actually glad I didn’t have some of the awesome hoof boots, as I’m not used to wearing heels (cowgirl boots and paddock boots are my only heeled shoes) and we were placed at the end of the parade, so though we were ready to go at 11am when the parade started, we were waiting “tacked up” until we started moving at about 1pm. Luckily folding chairs/stools and an umbrella to keep off the sun were brought, but we still had to wait, ready to go when our turn came. Then we had the whole parade route to walk/prance along, and I think would have had a lot of blisters and/or a broken ankle by the end of it if I’d had shoes like those…

I am a rider as well, and do a lot of work with bio-animals (as real animals are referred too among animal role-players). I work a lot with horses and dogs in my normal life. I enjoy getting a chance to BE one of the animals that inspire me when I get a safe/secure chance to do so

Because I believe this is one of the main reasons this area of activity gets placed as a “kink”, I would like to clarify that for me, this has nothing to do with sexuality. I do not even think of that kind of thing when I an in the mind-frame of a pony or puppy or whatever, Maybe some people somewhere do. BUT of all those I’ve met who are into some sort of animal roleplay, they seem to mostly enjoy the freedom of being their chosen animal(s). All of those that I have heard speak on the subject, are strongly against anything cruel to animals such as bestiality, and it has nothing to do with what we do.

I grew up collecting all the toy horses I could and reading all the saddle club books as well. One of my favorite games as a kid was running around the playground with the other girls pretending to be wild horses. Maybe I never grew out of being a kid, at least at heart.

~A Pony(girl) With No Name Yet

So, does anyone have any questions? Fire away…

Fighting is always a curious thing to me, and I have been thinking about possible defense strategies as I’m not the quickest runner. I asked Liz the other day way her choice of weapon would be. I chose a magic wand. I think Nate would chose a dreamcatcher. Liz chose some lady pistols. I saw these and thought of her.

Found at

I took a friend from the Seattle airport to Portland on Sunday and I stayed for a Fourth of July celebration in Corbett, Oregon. It was a beautiful spot to spend the Fourth, and I even stayed up to see the sunrise over the Columbia River. When we got back from the party Jocelyn and I hung out in the backyard, sunbathing topless. It was incredible to feel the warmth on our skin after such a wet and cold spring.
Out of now where an alarm went off in the house and we had no idea why. We quickly put our tops back on and ran into the house. There was water pouring out of the fixtures from upstairs and luckily Liz came running down the stairs as well. It was a complete shock to see the absolute volume of water coming out of the ceiling through the chandelier and the alarm itself. In retrospect, I can’t believe I didn’t get a picture, but well, things were pretty dicey for a minute there. After things get settled and we dry things out as much as possible, Jocelyn and I settle back outside for a bit. We both giggled about how when the alarm went off we both thought it was a PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON alarm, and we were busted.

The farm

Sunrise on the Columbia River

A sidenote to Liz, I sincerely hope there is no lasting damage to your ceiling.

This is almost how my summer feels. Well, at least the weekend parts. From Friday on I spent two and a half wonderful days with Mr. Man where we cooked dinner, went to Shebazz palaces, didn’t leave the house until afternoon on Saturday, and then only to have brunch in the sun, afterwhich we laid out in the park until almost 7. He cooked dinner for us at his house and then we watched Pontypool in my loft. We only parted when I had to leave to begin the next part of my long weekend.

If only it could be like this always

Always summer

Always alone

Fruits´╗┐ always ripe

I’m a sucker for period pieces, and Brideshead Revisited is near the top of my list. Before Dangerous liaisons (best double fist pump in a period piece) but probably after Pride and Prejudice (for the memories of being 13 and watching the entire 6 hour A&E marathon with my stepmom).